We had a wonderful time on Saturday at the Creative Soul Workshop.  Thank you to all the wonderful, inspiring women who participated and shared your creative souls!

This workshop was held at Sarson’s beach, in a house with big windows that looked out over the lawn and big Weeping Willow trees along the edge of the lake.  Couches would have been nice instead of folding chairs, but other than that it was a lovely venue, with lots of light and a small kitchen where we made tea whenever we needed it (read:  continually). 

 We collaged, journaled, wrote about our creative obstacles and set some do-able goals.  Toward the end, we all chucked some stones into the water and planted some creative dreams in the flowerbeds out front.  

 One of the things that always comes up in these workshops is the concept of taking baby steps, and the best word I’ve come across for this is “MICROMOVENTS”, a word coined by SARK in her book ‘Make Your Creative Dreams Real’ (see resource page).  I can’t go on and on enough about how much I love this book.  It was there that I first learned that as a divergent creative, I didn’t need to try so hard to stay focused on one thing, it is perfectly okay to work in creative spurts, to go from one thing to the next, to work within the parameters of my energy instead of forcing it. 

 I see this flowing naturally in my 4-year-old.  She will wake in the morning and come out to the dining room where she will practice her printing, then she will hop on over to the piano and plunk out “Rain Rain Go Away” a few times before skipping over to the kitchen to ask me to get down the playdough.  This is such a natural, instinctual way to grow.  Why, as adults, do we feel we have to summon the energy to work long, hard hours at our creative play? 

  More classes like this to come…. Would love to see you there at the next one!

So here’s the truth:  The reason I haven’t posted in such a LONG LONG TIME is because…. Well, it’s sort of embarassing. 

I launched this site last fall, and within weeks, I had clients coming out of my ears.  It was wonderful.  I paid off the web design guy, I paid off my promo costs, I even made enough money to buy myself a  lovely digital SLR camera. 

And quickly became very obsessed.   With the camera, that is.

I started taking pictures of all the kids at my daughter’s school.  And because I love it when people love a photograph I have taken, when they smile and say thank you so much, and because prints are so inexpensive, I began giving all the photos away to the parents of said kids. 

And before I knew it, I had a business on my hands.  A business that is more fun than I thought possible. 

 So I’m here to say that I am still taking coaching clients.  Just not so many.  

 And also, that if you are from the Okanagan, I would love to take pictures of your kids or your family, or even your dog. 

 ………………………………

In other news……

I am finally almost done the record I have been piecing together for nearly a year.  The production contracts have been signed, and I’m extatic that I will soon be releasing another album!  As Lionel Richie likes to say….Oh, what a feeling!

And as many of you know, I’ve been doing freelance writing for awhile now, and my latest column is posted HERE if you care to read.

 Anyway dear ones….. Thanks for stopping by so faithfully.  I think I will be HERE a little more these days, and also HERE.  I would love to hear from you, if you feel like dropping me a line. 

 Warm Wishes….

 Yes, it’s been so terribly long.

If you are ever looking for me and I’m not here, I’m often HERE.

 But these days, I have actually been away, or at the very least, not at my computer.  The summer has been filled with long beach days, road trips and music.  The highlight, I think, was an hour and a half of morning yoga on a bluff overlooking the sea, where I literally laughed out loud as a bald eagle circled above me.  One of life’s most exquisite moments.  The low point was definitely my attempt to take my 2 kids, alone, to the Vancouver aquarium, which I implore you NEVER to do.  But regardless, as August unwinds, I find myself trying to suck the marrow of out of its last sweet days.

 So I wanted to tell you about a few things I’ve recently fallen in love with:

For all you photography junkies out there like myself, this site will come as a lovely treat for you.  It’s a gathering of women, some mothers, some not, who chronicle their lives through photography and post them here. 

And this reminds me to tell you about a great photography posting site called FLICKR where you can set up your photographs and network with other photographers, and it’s all free.  I’m totally LOVING it.

 Also, I am trying very hard not to go HERE every day to see what Katherine Newman has posted, since reading her lovely little book this summer and found myself, towards the end of it feeling so so sad that it was going to be over.  You know those books?  Sigh.

 Now if you’ll excuse me, for some reason there is dried pee on my bed and I’m off to find out why and figure out whether or not I can cram a whole queen sized duvet into our regular sized washing machine…

When my first daughter was born, and I entered a year-long period of intense depression, I invented a list for myself called “10 Beautiful Things”. 

 I did this because the main quality of my depression was that the world seemed to be a grey, dreary place devoid of any beauty at all.  I was vaguely familiar with the concept that ‘what you focus on expands’ and in my desperation, I forced myself to focus on the beautiful things even though, at the time, it felt nigh near impossible. 

 My first list went something like this:

1.  I have legs  2.  I have arms  3. I have hair.

 I remember barely being able to get past number 4 the first few times.  But something magical happened with those lists.  I began to look for beauty instead of waiting for it to come to me, I began to search for it in every crack…. “The light on the floor” I’d write.  “The blackbird on the fence”.  Until after awhile, it seemed to be everywhere again.

 I’d love to say that this optimism stuck, but the truth is, my mind has this icky habit of imagining worst case scenarios for everything.  And so, I return to these lists over and over again to dig myself out of bad places. 

 I once had a blog where I posted these regularly, and recently, I’ve felt the need to do so again.  Here’s my list of 10 beautiful things.  Feel free to join me and post yours here too.   I’ll be posting these regularly.

10 Beautiful Things:

1.  My new white curtains

2.  That it’s finally summer

3.  The Peonies in the flower beds

4.  My green bike

5.  Sitting by the water today for awhile

6.  The new neighbors

7.  A stack of new library books

8.  The sound of the wind outside

9.  Ella’s eyelashes

10.  Iryn’s long whispy hair

My 6 year old lost her 2nd tooth the other night, and I completely forgot to leave her toothfairy money. She woke the next morning and came into my room, distraught, holding her sad looking tooth: “Why didn’t the toothfairy come?” She said.

I moaned. I sympathized. I suggested that maybe the toothfairy didn’t see it because it was so small, that we should try again.

I forgot again. And then again. Still my daughter, full of faith, kept believing. Although by now, her version of the toothfairy has changed from a shiny, smiling magical lady, to a fat old many who smokes too many cigarettes and misses work shifts due to hangovers.

I finally remembered on the 4th night, and left a note, apologizing:

“I’m very sorry I kept you waiting.” said the toothfairy (whose handwriting looked remarkably like mommy’s and whose pen had apparantly stopped working half-way through and had to be replaced with another pen of a darker color)

“So many kids lost their teeth this week, I just couldn’t keep up. Some kids had to wait a whole week. Here is something a little extra.” I left her double the regular price for a tooth. This morning, she crawled into my bed, smiling her little gappy smile.

The other day, I found myself standing in line at a store, purchasing something I have never in my life wanted to purchase before:  silver high heeled shoes.  What was I thinking?  Was I actually going to wear these?

Answer: yes. 

Reason:  My fabulous (and yes, the word fabulous totally applies here) and dear girlfriend is taking me and 8 other women to Las Vegas for the long weekend.  It’s absurd, really.  We’re flying in a private jet, staying at a fancy hotel, going to an all-day spa, and spending a whole day lounging by the pool where I can hardly wait to crack THIS BABY open.  And while I have to admit, Las Vegas isn’t the first name on my list of places I’d like to visit, I’ve been told it’s something every person should experience once in their lifetime.

 And, as my friend Heather so eloquently put it:  “Vegas in flats?  I don’t think so.”

Fortunately, the store I was in was Value Village, and the shoes only cost me $6.  No way in hell was I going to spend 120 bucks on a pair of silver heels.  Where would I wear them after Vegas?  Grocery shopping?  To a poetry reading?   

 Getting ready the past few days, I’ve been thinking about retreats.  This weekend feels so luscious, but where else might I like to go?  I found THIS PLACE on-line and made a promise to myself to take me there one day, and in the meantime, found THIS DELICIOUS BOOK LIST…. Many of the titles were familiar to me, and I’m looking forward to exploring the other not-so-familiar ones soon. 

 I’m off to pack. 

It’s a warm day with clear blue sky and sunshine, so I want to get out there and enjoy it.  I have a few seeds to plant and pots to put out on the steps now that the cold seems to be (hopefully) over.  But I wanted to post a few things that have made me smile lately…

 This video had me laughing out loud.

Also, the other night I was chatting with one of the lovely women I have the privilege of talking to on a weekly basis, and I mentioned one of my favorite books of all time, “Circle of Stones”, which I came across one summer when I spent a magical afternoon browsing in used book stores in Mendocino, California.  I LOVED this book from the second it called my name, and I literally mean it called my name;  in that strange inaudible, yet ever-so-inaudible way, it pretty much jumped off the shelf at me and said “Buy me!!!” 

I have read it multiple times since.  My copy is in even worse shape than it was when I bought it used, plus I have litttle penciled-in notes in many of the margins, so I don’t like to lend it out.  I tried a few times to find another copy, but alas, it had been discontinued.  This is what I explained to the woman on the phone, after I read her an excerpt.  Later that evening, she emailed me to say that she had found it, on Amazon in a new edition!   I’m going to go buy 10 copies and give one to all my dearest friends.  Check it out.  This book rocks!  (no pun intended)

 I don’t usually run in the winter…. maybe on the odd freak warmish day when the roads are clear of snow.  Every year when I begin again, I’m shocked at the level of bliss that comes over me, as my feet pound against the pavement and I whoosh past the boats in the harbour and the weeping willows that grow over the boardwalk.  I think today I actually laughed out loud.

Running has always provided me with a rush of creative ideas…. I become more open to that thing called “Big Mind” when there are not so many walls and limits around me.  The bursts come fast and furiously, too fast to keep track of.  I start carrying a notebook with me just in case it’s too much.  I return home feeling like I could create for days and days.

 In the spirit of creative bursts, I thought I’d pass a few tasty tidbits your way. 

 This week I was delighted to discover that I had won a long lusted-after book on Jen Lemen’s blog.  “Momma Zen:  Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood” is being raved about, and I can’t wait to read it.  In the midst of winning, I also discovered I love the author’s blog and will be returning to read more of her musings on motherhood.  

I could get lost for days on this site, especially here, here and here. 

 This photoblog makes me want to take more pictures and tell more stories. 

 And if you’ve run out of good things to read, I’ve heard this is a good one.  Ever since a friend told me about it, I’ve been trying to get my hands on it.

 For several years now, I’ve been working at uncovering my limiting beliefs.  I was first introduced to the concept when I read “The Artist’s Way” in 1998 and it totally blew my mind.  Just to realize there was a whole system of beliefs I had lived with for most of my life, some of which was negative and working against me, was incredibly challenging and uplifting. 

But knowing this is one thing.  Uncovering those limiting beliefs is another.  It takes time and awareness. 

Off and on since then, I’ve made a mental practice of trying to be conscious of what I’m believing about myself and life.  For example, a while ago, upon waking one morning, I realized that a predominant thought dragging me down was:  “Writing is hard work.”  Realizing this, I was able to change my inner dialogue to something more along the lines of:  “I write with ease… As I progress, the path will be made clear.”  It’s amazing how by changing our inner dialogue, we can change our outcomes and the way in which we approach life. 

 This week I uncovered a new one.  I was dealing with a project very dear to my heart, and was writing down my fears about it in my journal.  I was surprised to learn that I had something going on inside my head that went like this:  “Big things work out for other people, but not for me.” 

Where had this come from?  Surely I didn’t believe this.

 But I realized that, somewhere in there, I did, in fact believe this.  And taking my project to a new level caused this belief to surface.  In my upbringing, some things were considered accessible to us “normal folk”.  But whenever you began to talk about doing something a little “out there”, or too ambitious, you were scolded or scoffed at.  “Don’t be unrealistic.”  you were told.  There seemed to be an unspoken rule that only “special” people could become recording artists or authors or popular public speakers.   This year, I’m attempting new things, and because of that, I’m uncovering this whole new set of limiting beliefs that I need to tackle.

 I know we all have these.  Others I’ve had at some point or another have gone:  “Life is a struggle.”  “Whenever something good happens, something will always come to rain on the parade.”  “Life is not all roses”  “I’d rather be a starving artist than ____”  (Truth:  It SUCKS to be a starving artist and I no longer believe this is necessary!) 

Other common ones I come across in clients and workshop participants are: “Things never work out.”  “I’ll never have enough.”  “I’m not talented enough to ____”  “It’s foolish to believe you can do what you love.” 

 It’s a very powerful thing to discover these limiting beliefs and to consciously choose to replace them with something more positive.

What are yours?