Luscious Living Blog by Kim McMechan

 For several years now, I’ve been working at uncovering my limiting beliefs.  I was first introduced to the concept when I read “The Artist’s Way” in 1998 and it totally blew my mind.  Just to realize there was a whole system of beliefs I had lived with for most of my life, some of which was negative and working against me, was incredibly challenging and uplifting. 

But knowing this is one thing.  Uncovering those limiting beliefs is another.  It takes time and awareness. 

Off and on since then, I’ve made a mental practice of trying to be conscious of what I’m believing about myself and life.  For example, a while ago, upon waking one morning, I realized that a predominant thought dragging me down was:  “Writing is hard work.”  Realizing this, I was able to change my inner dialogue to something more along the lines of:  “I write with ease… As I progress, the path will be made clear.”  It’s amazing how by changing our inner dialogue, we can change our outcomes and the way in which we approach life. 

 This week I uncovered a new one.  I was dealing with a project very dear to my heart, and was writing down my fears about it in my journal.  I was surprised to learn that I had something going on inside my head that went like this:  “Big things work out for other people, but not for me.” 

Where had this come from?  Surely I didn’t believe this.

 But I realized that, somewhere in there, I did, in fact believe this.  And taking my project to a new level caused this belief to surface.  In my upbringing, some things were considered accessible to us “normal folk”.  But whenever you began to talk about doing something a little “out there”, or too ambitious, you were scolded or scoffed at.  “Don’t be unrealistic.”  you were told.  There seemed to be an unspoken rule that only “special” people could become recording artists or authors or popular public speakers.   This year, I’m attempting new things, and because of that, I’m uncovering this whole new set of limiting beliefs that I need to tackle.

 I know we all have these.  Others I’ve had at some point or another have gone:  “Life is a struggle.”  “Whenever something good happens, something will always come to rain on the parade.”  “Life is not all roses”  “I’d rather be a starving artist than ____”  (Truth:  It SUCKS to be a starving artist and I no longer believe this is necessary!) 

Other common ones I come across in clients and workshop participants are: “Things never work out.”  “I’ll never have enough.”  “I’m not talented enough to ____”  “It’s foolish to believe you can do what you love.” 

 It’s a very powerful thing to discover these limiting beliefs and to consciously choose to replace them with something more positive.

What are yours?

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Yesterday was a frustrating day with my kids.  I spent way too much time either hunched over a counter cutting up snacks or breaking up fights.  Oh, and wiping countless runny noses.  There seemed to be snot everywhere.  Around mid-afternoon when my 2 year old woke up early from her nap, I heard myself whisper bitterly, “I hate this!”

It was immediately followed by a kinder, wiser voice inside me that asked, very gently, “What do you hate?”

“This!  I said.  “This…. er….” but couldn’t quite put it into words.

 ”Write it down.”  Kind, wise voice said.  Come to think of it, she says this a lot.  And it always helps.

 I sat down to make a list of all the things I hated at that moment.  “I hate that I can’t read when the girls are up.  I hate that they always ask to watch tv and complain when I say no.  I hate that Iryn won’t play by herself.  I hate that my kitchen cupboards are a mess.  I hate that there’s so much whining going on.  I hate that it’s winter and I feel cooped up.”

Writing it down, I was able to see, clearly, what I wasn’t happy with.  Writing it down gets it out of our heads where it stays vague and irritating, and helps us to figure out what to do.

 After that was out of the way, I jotted down notes on what I could do to change things.  Suprisingly (or maybe not so suprisingly) a lot of the things I needed to change were more about my own attitutes.  “Let go.  Be more okay with the mess.  Set clearer boundaries.  Get out for more walks.  Let go of the guilt I feel about not giving Iryn more one-on-one attention.  Make time to read every evening. ”

 This reminded me that often when we feel really frustrated and stuck, we can figure out what we DO want by exploring what we don’t want.  By admitting what I hated, I was better able to change the things that weren’t working so that today is going a little better.  (Except for the snot.  It’s still everywhere.)

What do you hate?

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