When you move to NYC you meet hundreds if not thousands of different types of people. You meet people through your job, at clubs/bars, through apartment hunting, on the subway, at the corner CVS, waiting in line at Starbucks and even in the doctors office. Manhattan’s a tiny little island that has an energy that attracts millions of people from all over the world to come and visit or live, either for a short length of time or they never leave. It’s this energy that creates these different people you meet everyday. These Manhattanites have a certain zest about them that makes them so DAMN interesting that they take pride in giving themselves the title of a true NUU YAWKER! But you can easily break down these quirky peeps into 5 easy categories. Some people belong to more than one category or even all of them, either way these are the CRAZY people that make up the island that is Manhattan…
THE ALCOHOLIC –
When I first moved NYC, it didn’t take me long to catch on to noticing the characteristics and once I started working in a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, I quickly became a pro at spotting the ALCO.
This is the person that drinks all day, everyday! They go to the bar during lunch and when they say they’re going to get coffee, it’s usually an Irish coffee! It’s the person that walks into the bar and has their ‘usual’ sitting down in front of them before they reach their seat. It’s the person that takes a shot or 3 to help them sleep. It’s the person that goes 48 hours without a drink and think they’ve cured cancer! But you gotta give this ALCO a little leeway, as living in NYC isn’t an easy feat! It’s down right tough and a little dutch courage makes it a bit easier but THE ALCOHOLIC makes it the social norm!
THE DRUG ADDICT –
When I first moved to NYC, it was almost impossible to know what made certain people so outrageously energetic 24/7 but once you get to know people, it all makes sense.
This is the person that becomes your new bestie after you broke your arm, come home from the Doctor and have filled your pain killer prescription. This is the person that has their coke dealer on speed-dial and gets bulk a discount. This is the person that buys 5 sour patch gummies in a zip-lock bag from their bartender and this is the person that almost has non-existent pupils. NYC just seems to make THE DRUG ADDICT ya regular Joe!
THE SLUT –
When I first moved to NYC and started mingling in different groups, I quickly realised that everyone I knew had slept with each other and if not, had at least tried too!!!
THIS IS EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT LIVES IN NYC! MALES and FEMALES! This is the person has 4 or 5 people on tap at once. This is person that thinks that a bar is a sex buffet simply because they live in NYC. This is the person that sleeps with 3 or 4 different people a week. This is the person that will be on a date with one person, say goodnight then hop in a cab to have sexy time with their regular. This is the person that will sleep with someone they don’t even find attractive and they’re 100% sober. This is the person that’s slept with their bartender, their neighbour, their neigbour’s sister, their doctor and their second cousin. NYC just makes every one THE SLUT!
THE LEECH –
When I first moved to NYC I quickly learnt how expensive it was but I had prepared for that! I was a very good little saver! However after enjoying the NYC life I quickly realised that the city was a swamp ridden with LEECHes
This is the person that always manages to find the person in the bar “whose buying”. This is the person that accepts a date from someone cause they see it as a free meal. This is the person that’ll sleep with an older married man just because he pays for everything. This is the person that’ll meet their own kind ie. other aussies or other brits, become their best friend, take them for all they’re worth and say it’s “supporting your fellow countryman”. This is the 2 girls at the bar only talking to the bald 55 year old just to get a few extra shots. NYC will suck you dry, THE LEECHes… these people will suck you even drier.
THE ILLEGAL –
When I first moved to NYC I realised that many people where not from here. They not only came from different states but mainly different countries. But unlike a very lucky me who is an Aussie who’s also a US citizen, these people got hooked on NYC and never left, even when they were supposed to!
This person never leaves the country, cause if they do, they’re banned for 10 years. This person never pays taxes (lucky bastards). This person has gone 17 years without seeing their family. This person asks anyone and everyone to marry them. This person offers 10’s of 1,000’s of dollars for someone to marry them. This person mainly works in the service industry so they can easily stay off the books. This person is addicted to NYC SO MUCH that they survive off of Skype to get a feel for home. NYC is so addictive, THE ILLEGAL will do anything to stay here.